Yup, it's that time of the year again.
Read more... )
I am not content...

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
Только поле знает, поле, где цыган коня найдёт...
That's a good sign, right? Tell me it's a good sign.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Эх бирюзовые, эх да вы колечки, покатились ох да на траву...
По цыгански. Not likely, the chance is lost, and moreover lost weirdly...
3. What do my friends really think of me?
Some bravura stuff by Strauss...

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Stairway to Heaven?!?!?!? WTF!?!?!?!? Is that a "yes, but they aren't going to do anything about it" or an "in your dreams"?

5. What does [insert significant other/ex] think of me?
И кто бы что ни говорил
Я сам добыл и сам пропил
И дальше буду делать точно так
As in - what fucking significant other? Yup.

6. How can I make myself happy?
Слезливое море вокруг разлилось (из Алисы)
iTunes wants me to stop drinking viognier and being maudlin


7. What should I do with my life?
Три юных пажа покидали
Навеки свой берег родной?
But I already emigrated once? OK, I do know what it means, but I don't like it.
А третий любил королеву
Он молча пошёл умирать
Не мог он ни ласке ни гневу
Любимое имя предать
Кто любит свою королеву
Тот молча идёт умирать.

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
За нашей спиной остались паденья, закаты
Пусть хоть бы ничтожный, ну хоть бы невидимый взлёт...
Yup, others had it worse. I should just shut up and stop drinking viognier. And white wine in general, since we've come to that...


10. Will I ever have children?
More Strauss. The damn thing just doesn't feel like answering.

11. Will I die happy?
Кого-то нет, кого-то жаль, к кому-то сердце мчится в даль...
I'll die drunk? I'll be missed?

12. Can you give me some good advice?
Про чёрную башню знаю одно, пускай супостаты со всех сторон
И съеден припас, и скисло вино, но клятву дал гарнизон.
Напрасно чужие ждут, знамёна их не пройдут
Стоя в могилах спят мертвецы, они содрогаются в буре ветров
Старые кости в трещинах гор...
This means "hold tight". Like I have a choice.

13. What do you think happiness is?
Мир такой кромешный, он и летом и зимою снежный...
....
Слушай, мальчик Ваня, в этой жизни все цыгане
Отцветёт он и увянет, или вновь цветком он станет
На свете, короче, счастья нет. С покоем тоже напряжёнка. Но есть фатализм и воля.

14. Where and/or when will I meet my future husband?
На степи молдованские всю ночь глядит луна?!?!
I get the point. Last time it was Georgians. This time it's Gypsies. iTunes says I should just meet a nice dark man, no matter where. Gee, that's helpful. Or else, it may be saying that I need a vacation.

15. How long will I live?
Купите бублички, гоните рублички, гоните рублички да поживей.
Instrumental. Either forever or hurry up.

16. Have I already met the person that I'm going to marry?

Оставайся, мальчик, с нами
Будешь нашим королём!
Yah, right.
Here we go again:

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
Ну вот, мы с Вами в Одессе. Утёсов. Once again, iTunes wants me to leave.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Паперный. Хорошо сидеть. I guess so.

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Leave Me Alone!?!?!?!? By Helen Reddy.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Agafonov. Отойди, не гляди. That would be "yes, but they ain't about to do anything about it".

5. What does [insert significant other/ex] think of me?
Hellawes. Again. "Winter". Waiting for a significant other is hopeless.

6. How can I make myself happy?
Pauvre martir obscur!?!?!?! Ooops. I think I need less opera in my life. Or a vacation.

7. What should I do with my life?
Utesov. Again. I should go to Athens? Or just take a sea vacation?

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Rasch in der Tat polka. Finally an answer I can relate to.


10. Will I ever have children?
Kviria by the Rustavi Choir. No, I don't speak Georgian, so I've no idea what this answer means.

11. Will I die happy?
In the dark pine wood. Susanne Abbuehl. Ok, I guess. Unless it means "you'll be happy to die".

12. Can you give me some good advice?
Gikharoden Shen Tsmindao Dedopalo. By the Rustavi choir. iTunes advises me to hang out with more Georgians? I'm willing, but how?

13. What do you think happiness is?
An unidentified Soviet song in Chinese. Happiness is collectivism!!!

14. Where and/or when will I meet my future husband?
Pizzicato Polka. It just doesn't want to say.

15. How long will I live?
Nat King Cole. Hit That Jive Jack. Well, on one hand old King Cole was a merry _old_ soul, but on the other hand "I ain't got time to shake your hand". Perhaps it means I'll come back as a zombie.

16. Have I already met the person that I'm going to marry?
Queen. "Princes of the Universe". "Here We Are". Great - I've already met a number of people I'm going to marry.

Sum total of the test - I need a vacation involving sea, foreign countries, dancing and Georgians. Yah, that's likely as hell.
List of questions stolen from Canivolterriani, whose answers are as different as it's possible to get, although he and my brother are probably kindred souls.
http://canivolterriani.livejournal.com/34496.html


Hey, it beats tea leaves and asking Jeeves.


iTunes Prophecies: Go to your iTunes playlist and put it all on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and after each one press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
Good bye dear, I'll be back in a year
My iTunes wants me to leave?

2. Will I have a happy life?
Kisses sweeter than wine
That's encouraging.

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Black Tower, by Hellawes
My friends either think I'm going to die soon, or they think I'm a tower of strength. Or unreasonably stubborn. Or a liar. Or should eat more...

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Sing, gypsies! by Leschenko
Wow, another encouraging one. That's two out of four, so far.

5. What does [insert significant other/ex] think of me?
Hellawes again, He mourns for Change
Vampires? No, seriously.

6. How can I make myself happy?
You ask for a song - I've none. Agafonov.
That definitely means no way. In fact, anything by Agafonov would be a no way to that question.

7. What should I do with my life?
I met a red-eyed girl, by Paperny http://www.paperny.ru/alboms.html
I should help strangers and get involved in sudden romantic relationships. Sounds good.

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Galina Baranova (oh the female base - loveliest of voices)
Autumn Wind
No comment. None.

10. Will I ever have children?
Junkers march from The White Guard. Great. Just great.
That one is really, really depressing.

11. Will I die happy?
Vertinsky. In the banana-lemon Singapore.
So's this one.

12. Can you give me some good advice?
Baranova. We are but strangers.
So, after all this depressing stuff iTunes tells me to keep a stiff upper lip. Lovely.

13. What do you think happiness is?
Paperny. Dark beer. Happiness is a murder/suicide for love. Sure it is.

14. Where and/or when will I meet my future hustband?
Yesterday I met you by accident, by Leschenko. My husband will be a stalking ex-boyfriend.

15. How long will I live?
Tenessee Ernie Ford, Wild Goose. How long do geese live, anyway?

16. Have I already met the person that I'm going to marry?
Lord Gregory, by Hellawes. (http://melnitsa.net) Well, I'm not pregnant, so that must be a "No", unless I'm going to marry someone named Gregory.

Sum total of the test - I'm going to be happy, but there's no earthly reason for it.

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